I can't write today. I try and try. It's just not happening. I've done every trick that usually gets the juices going, but nothing worked.
Then I realized the issue: I'm waiting for the adoption social worker to call: he's suppose to bring our foster child over to show him our home and to discuss rules and expectations. It's now 5:12 and still no call. So, now I have to wait to find out if they'll come on Sunday morning for their visit or maybe earlier...or maybe later. The waiting makes me edgy and unsettled. I feel unfocused and restless.
When David and I decided to start the adoption process. We deliberately chose to go the public route through LA County. We went through all the mandatory classes, opened our home to both county and state foster workers, and then started the waiting game. Waiting for The Call.
We don't want babies. It's not a lifestyle decision as much as it's a decision based on the incredible need for parents willing to take sibling sets and older children. David and I opted for a sibling set profile: get it all done at once. LA County did flips and we were immediately invited to an adoption event as soon as our approval went through.
An adoption fair resembles a mosh between a carnival and a pet adoption fair. Kids walk around playing games and potential parents trail after them trying to glean information from them. It's depressing.
David and I felt helpless at the whole process of this "fair" thing until we found the booth for boardgames. Well. We LOVE boardgames - got a whole room in the house devoted to board games. David plunked his butt into a chair and whipped out Kerplunk! and Connect Four. I sat at the next booth playing Uno. As kids walked by we invited to sit with us and play. It's so much easier to talk to kids if you do something with them. When David or I found a kid we liked, I'd jump up and run to find the social worker to discuss their availability (a trick we learned from the county parenting classes). After coming back from such a run, I found David sitting with a young man (I placed him at about 12ish).
Within a matter of minutes, we were in love. Serious love.
As with any love situation, problems immediately jumped up: at 13 (he turned 14 in February). he wasn't within our profile range (we wanted young like 6-8) nor was he a sibling (we wanted 2-3). But we loved him. We genuinely loved him.
At the end of the fair, pizza's offered. This lovely young man invited us to eat with him. Did I tell you we loved him? We loved him. We sat, ate pizza, he shared his cupcake with me (still have the topper), we told him to stop trying to sell himself on us. We loved him.
But he wasn't within our profile.